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  “Tell me!” I exclaimed.

  “I have bad news to give you...”

  His serene voice became dull and apathetic.

  I kept silent watching the serious expression on his face.

  “You know that the company is doing worse,” he explained.

  “Yes, I know,” I answered sincerely.

  “We’ve been making cuts here and there, but we still aren’t getting the accounts in better shape. We’ve been forced to make personnel changes as well.” Mutism seized him again.

  “I get it.”

  I knew what this conversation meant, so I tried to make it as simple as possible.

  “Do what you have to do, Victor. I understand your position and I know it isn’t easy, so don’t worry.”

  “I’m really sorry. I’ve tried everything I can to not have to cut staff, but the pressure from management doesn’t give me any choice,” he remarked, notably affected.

  “I’m sure it will work out for the best, Victor.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, surprised.

  “That I feel it’s time to give a new twist to my life.”

  “Are you talking about the books?” he asked curiously.

  I laughed. “I mean everything in general.”

  To my surprise, despite the notice and the uncertainty that that supposed, I was feeling very well. I noted that it didn’t matter that they fired me. It felt like it brought with it a great opportunity. Moreover, I was encouraged by that idea.

  Victor looked at me with a frown. I do not think he expected that reaction.

  “Yes,” I said, trying to explain better what I thought. “I think my whole life is suddenly changing and the truth is, I feel good—hopeful and wanting to try new things.”

  “For my part, I feel bad that we have to do without you,” he apologized again, thinking that I might be faking my good reaction.

  I could tell from his words that he didn’t completely understand what I was trying to say, or he understood but didn’t believe me. He probably thought I was making it up so that he wouldn’t feel bad in that situation.

  “Seriously, Victor. I think this is opening the doors to another path for me,” I insisted.

  “Really?”

  He finally seemed to believe me.

  “Yes. You don’t need to feel bad for me. In the end, you’re giving me a valuable gift.”

  Without saying another word, I leaned over to give him a hug.

  “But I will miss your sleepy face every morning,” I joked.

  We both laughed again, and gave each other another hug. The years had created an immense respect and appreciation for each other.

  “You’ll have to read the dismissal letter and severance package, and sign if it’s all correct,” he explained, separating himself from me.

  “Sure. You have it here?”

  “Yes, come over to the table and read it at your leisure.”

  We went over to the imposing solid wood table that adorned the central area of his office, the same one on which he used to work despite having a slightly more modest, but more comfortable one. I watched him open a small briefcase and extract the corresponding documents. He handed them to me gently. I took them and looked over them quickly before going back and reading them in more detail.

  When I’d finished examining them, I signed and returned them to him.

  “Don’t disappear, okay?” he said, fixing his eyes on mine.

  “I don’t plan to,” I joked, a little surprised. His words had a sober connotation.

  “Seriously...I’ll miss you.”

  “And I’ll miss you,” I said, blushing a little. “If it’s okay, I’ll go pick up the rest of my things.” The turn of the conversation was making me a little uncomfortable and I wanted to get out of there.

  “Of course, you’re at home,” he said kindly.

  “Thank you.”

  I got up to go to my desk for the last time. When I left the office, I saw that the rest of the employees had already left.

  I started to collect my belongings. After spending so much time there, I saw that I had a lot of things there.

  After a few moments, Victor appeared at my side.

  “You’re not the only one.”

  “I imagine,” I speculated.

  “Why?”

  “Because I know I’m not one of the most highly paid in this company. To cover expenses or balance the accounts, taking into account the severance you have to give me, you’d need at least four or five more layoffs.”

  “Seven, actually.”

  I raised my eyebrows without really noticing. I’d been calculating on the high side. It seemed like a lot to fire seven employees.

  “And you know what?” he said, with a smile on his face.

  “What?”

  “I’m one of the seven.”

  I did feel bad then. Victor had been fully involved in the company for more than two decades, since he was barely eighteen years old and if it was true what he’d just told me, he’d be devastated, since it had been very important to him.

  “But how can that be?” I asked, surprised. “And how do you know that? I don’t understand.”

  “I know because they’re not firing me, I’m quitting. But they don’t know it yet,” he explained.

  “I still don’t understand,” I confessed.

  “Yeah,” he smiled, lowering his eyes. “Something woke up in me after the accident your family had. Seeing you there in the hospital, half dead, not knowing if you were going to make it...it made me start thinking about a lot of things. When you came out of that state, and I saw you recuperate, I not only admired your strength and ability to adapt, I was inspired to be a better person, to try to be grateful for what I have, and enjoy every day, because we don’t know how much time we have left. Then I read your book and learned a lot about you. You really opened my eyes...

  “When I found out that you were one of the people I’d have to fire, first I was sad, then I was angry. I tried to get out of it, but the decision had been made. However, I realized it wouldn’t be any kind of obstacle in your path. That was when I decided to find my own path.”

  I watched him closely. I saw a strong young man, excited inside, fearful and at the same time hopeful of reaching something that seemed to be a personal dream.

  “Aurora, I would like to accompany you on the journey you’re about to undertake.”

  “What?” I asked, shocked.

  I had no idea what he was talking about. What did he mean? Was it a proposition of some kind? His voice indicated a hidden meaning, a confidence about something unknown to me. He seemed to be sure of what my path was going to be, even though I myself didn’t know yet.

  I stood quietly watching him, trying to not get a strange look on my face. He looked at me straight in the eyes and didn’t know what to say.

  When he saw my silence, he interrupted the quiet.

  “I know you’re going to start a new life and something tells me that you’re going to need help at some point.” My eyes opened as wide as platters and the expression on my face changed. Even so, I stayed quiet. “What I mean is, when the time comes, I would like you to count on me for whatever you need. Thank God I don’t need to work. If I have until now, it’s because my father was one of the three partners that founded this company and my job seemed like a fun game with which to entertain myself. But it isn’t any more and anyone could take my job. Today I am moved by other concerns that I am beginning to consider more important.

  “And, well, you know that I have money to spare—it would be a pleasure to help you in anything I can.

  “Besides, I want to go deeper into my spiritual side, understand it, practice it, recognize its true magnitude and power. I also know it’s time to start again. And I think you’re going to be part of this path I want to walk. That’s why I’m saying you can count on me if you need anything.”

  I was still unable to say a word, and my mouth was practically hanging open. I
saw him conclude his argument by taking out a piece of paper and a pen.

  “Here’s my contact information—my home address, email and cell phone number. You can contact me there for whatever reason.”

  That had been very strange. We’d known each other for years, but even so, this was the first time he’d spoken so sincerely to me before. His offer struck me deeply, although at the time I still didn’t know what to say.

  He left the pen on the table, put the folded paper in my hand, kissed my cheek, and headed towards the main entrance of the office.

  “I have a feeling we’ll see each other again very soon,” he said, crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him.

  I listened to the sound of the door closing, leaving me there alone, cloistered, my body stiff and my mouth still mute. I felt disoriented, observing my own lack of reactions. I tried to understand and decipher Victor’s words speaking of a new path of which he believed I would be a part.

  But I didn’t want to think. Right now, I just wanted to feel the energy of that office for the last time that I’d come and gone from so many times, and remember the times I spent with my co-workers.

  Yes, that’s the way I said good-bye to that place, appreciating all I’d learned and the opportunities I’d been given.

  Now I could only soak up the silence and contemplate carefully, with the intention of filing in my mind’s eye a faithful memory of what was already my extinct job.

  Chapter 13

  Desire

  I left when I had picked up my things. I calmly closed the office door that saw me enter so many mornings. Good mornings, bad ones and normal ones formed part of that routine that was suddenly over.

  I would miss it, not just Victor but my work companions, especially the two crazy troublemakers who were always making plans and organizing parties, for the fun they made happen some days with their ideas and crazy humor.

  But I didn’t feel sad. Something inside told me that I should stay confident and be attentive to my environment, to my intuition.

  I went down the stairs that separated the office from the street for the last time. I said good-bye with a ‘see you later’ to the concierge and crossed the main threshold of the building.

  That May was very sunny and when I went outside I had to squint to avoid being dazzled by the sunlight. I grabbed my bag and placed it in front of my body to look for my car keys. I found them there and picking them up, I started walking.

  I had just taken a couple of steps when I heard someone to my left calling me.

  “Where are you going, Smurfette?”

  That voice was unmistakable. As soon as I heard him, a big smile appeared on my face. I turned and there he was, as handsome as ever. He was waiting for me, sitting on the back of a stone bench.

  “I thought I’d have to come in and get you,” Ian said, showing off his perfect teeth.

  “Yes, I was occupied a little longer than usual,” I confessed, shrugging my shoulders.

  “A lot of work?”

  “More like my last work.”

  He frowned, subtly erasing the smile from his face. “What do you mean?”

  “I was collecting my things. They’ve fired me.”

  He was left with his mouth open.

  “But has something happened?”

  “No, just the typical cuts that have reached the plant floor.”

  “Wow, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

  “Yes, I see that. You almost look happy,” he noted.

  I laughed openly, he smiled complicitly. In that second, I was conscious of how much I wanted to kiss him. Apparently, being focused on something other than figuring out my feelings had helped me finally notice how much I was attracted to him and overcome the fear of taking the next step.

  I contemplated his beautiful mouth and almost without realizing it, instinctively, I licked my lips and ended up biting the lower one. When I looked in his eyes again, I saw him watching me. I felt the desire was mutual and that made my heart beat faster.

  “And why did you come here?” I asked, trying to dissemble.

  But it was too late for that and he had noticed what was going on. He stayed silent, quiet and very serious. That disoriented me. Was it possible that he didn’t want anything with me any more? Perhaps just the friendship we had was enough? I didn’t understand why he just stood there not moving, looking at me without saying anything, with a regretful face, and taut at the same time.

  “I’d better take this to the car,” I said, feeling uncomfortable.

  Just then he stood up and came closer, he took the bag of belongings I’d just picked up from my workplace, and leaned over to give me a kiss on the forehead.

  My mouth hung open, shocked. What did that kiss mean? Without looking at me, he turned and headed towards the car.

  I didn’t understand what I might have done wrong. Was he angry? What was happening? It was clear that something was beyond my comprehension.

  “I don’t know if you remember that we arranged to meet your father for lunch before the conference,” he finally said when we got to the car.

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “I thought we could go from here since it’s close by. Unless you want to go home for something.”

  “What time are we supposed to be there?”

  “At three-thirty.”

  “We still have almost an hour,” I said, looking at my watch.

  “Yes. Do you want to go home to shower, or change or something?”

  “Well, yes. I’d like to shower. I need to clear my head,” I said honestly. Although Ian thought I meant about work, I really needed to freshen up and meditate on the reaction I had had. Now I felt discouraged.

  “Fine.”

  “And your car?” I asked, looking around.

  “I walked.”

  “Perfect. Can you drive? I don’t really feel like it,” I said, putting out my hand to give him the keys.

  “Of course.” A small smile appeared but I knew something was going on.

  I quickly thought: “Has he met someone else?” But I couldn’t bring myself to ask him. Anyway, it didn’t make much sense. If he was with someone else he wouldn’t be with me every other day, calling me, driving me around, coming to find me at work, writing me, eating and having dinner with me, making plans of all kinds with me...

  We were home in barely five minutes.

  “Do you want me to wait here?” he asked, parking the car.

  The astonishment on my face had no name. I felt a completely evasive and distant attitude from him.

  “Do what you want,” I said dryly.

  “If you’re not going to take long, I’d rather wait for you here.”

  I raised my eyebrows in amazement, grabbed the bag I was carrying and without saying a word, opened the car door. I could hardly talk.

  “I won’t be long,” is all I could manage to say.

  My heart beat rapidly. Now I was sure something was going on. Something I didn’t understand and couldn’t control, that upset me and made me feel vulnerable. Maybe the best thing after all would be to forget about Ian. When it came down to it, I’d done it before, I could do it again.

  I ran up the stairs to the lobby. I threw open the door to my place and as soon as I crossed the threshold, I burst into tears. I only had a few minutes to get it out before getting into the shower, change and leave the house as if nothing had happened.

  “It’s okay,” I told myself, “maybe this is the time to take some space again. I think it will be the only way to forget about him once and for all.”

  Before going to shower, I went to the kitchen for a glass of water. I washed my face under the faucet in the kitchen and then I drank the cool water in almost one gulp.

  There were a lot of emotions for one day and apparently, another one that could be even more shocking might be waiting.

  I went into the bedroom and searched in the closet for something comfortable to wear. At the sa
me time, I wanted to feel sexy—some garment that would help raise my spirits.

  I grabbed some stretch slacks and a semi-transparent blouse. Then, from my underwear drawer, I took out the most daring set I had. I remembered that we were going to a talk so I should cover up a bit. Since I couldn’t think any more right then, I thought while I was showering, I’d think of something to cover myself with.

  I put my hair up in a bun to keep it dry and got undressed. I adjusted the water until it was lukewarm. If we didn’t have somewhere to go, I’d have prepared myself a salt bath, or even better, gone for a swim in a heated pool. My mind fantasized about being on a warm beach where I could lose myself without thinking about anybody or anything.

  I washed my face again, this time more carefully since my mascara had run and I looked like a raccoon.

  Actually, the water calmed me down. Despite continuing to feel sad about Ian’s strange and evasive reaction, I noticed a significant improvement in my mood.

  In a few minutes, I was dressed and ready. I looked at my cell phone for the time. It still wasn’t three and that stopped me short. I didn’t want to spend any more time alone with Ian than necessary, and if we got to the restaurant early, my father might not have arrived and that meant extra minutes of tension and uncomfortable silence.

  To keep my hands busy, I emptied the bag of gadgets I’d brought from work, but that didn’t take more than a minute. It occurred to me then to touch up my make-up. I didn’t usually use much, so that wouldn’t take more than three or four minutes.

  I finished, and looked at the time again. It was after three. After hesitating awhile, I decided to go down. I couldn’t dodge him all day. At least not today.

  Putting on a jacket over my suggestive blouse, I put on some high-heeled shoes. I picked up my bag and a coat, in case it cooled down at night, and went down the stairs.

  When I reached the landing, I saw through the windows that Ian had gotten out of the car. He had his cell phone in his hand and it looked like he was talking to someone. I breathed deeply and headed towards him. He must have heard the heels because he automatically looked in my direction. He watched me fixedly and that scared me. I didn’t want it to end, now that I had finally decided...